Because I'm Stupid
by sheilajsn
Summary: This is a Ji Hoo/Jan Di fanfic.  I wanted Ji Hoo to have a happy ending. So this is an alternate reality thing where Goo Joon Pyo did marry Ha Jae Kyum and they moved to the United States after the wedding. The events are happening about a year after that
1. Chapter 1

**Because I'm Stupid**

This is a Ji Hoo/Jan Di fanfic.

I wanted Ji Hoo to have a happy ending. So this is an alternate reality thing where Goo Joon Pyo did marry Ha Jae Kyum and they moved to the United States after the wedding. The events here are happening about a year after that.

Why? I think that a relationship between Jan Di and Ji Hoo would work out. Jan Di liked Ji Hoo from the beginning, even before she liked Joon Pyo. If Joon Pyo was out of the picture, of course she would have ended up accepting Ji Hoo.

And I think they would have been very happy too because they were friends; they felt very comfortable with one another; he was the first person that always came to her mind every time she had a problem or when she wanted to share something happy; and the most important thing is that he was willing to do anything for her and to wait as long as she needed.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters; I'm just in love with them. I don't own the song _Because I'm Stupid_ either.

**Chapter One – "Honja dasi tto crying for you…"**

Geun Jan Di stared at the invitation in her hand for a long time. She kept staring at it until all the letters became mumbled together and lost all meaning; nothing more than black smudges on the very white, very elegant paper.

Ha Jae Kyum's birthday party invitation.

They had seen each other a couple of times while she was visiting Korea after she moved to the United States. And Jan Di knew she was happy.

But that was not the reason of her sudden shortness of breath.

The reason was Goo Joon Pyo. She hadn't seen him in more than a year. She hadn't seen him since the wedding.

The door of the porridge restaurant opened and the little bell on top of it announced the arrival of a customer.

"Welco…!" Jan Di stopped in the middle of her bow when she recognized the person at the door. "Sunbae!"

Ji Hoo smiled and gave her his usual wave. He walked up to her and put his hands in the pockets of his –she was sure of it- ridiculously expensive pants.

"Are you ok?" Ji Hoo asked her.

She shrugged, trying her best to look unburdened. By the look on Ji Hoo's face she could tell she was not doing a very good job.

"So, you got an invitation too?" Jan Di turned around and shoved the invitation in her backpack. When she faced Ji Hoo again, he was still standing on the same spot with his hands inside his pockets and concern on his face.

"You came because you were worried about me?"

"I came because I heard the emergency bell."

"It was not so much as an emergency bell," she said dismissively. "More like a jingle bell."

She smiled, but he didn't smile back.

At that time Ga Eul came out of the kitchen. Perfect timing, thought Jan Di.

"Ji Hoo sunbae!" Ga Eul said as a greeting.

He nodded at her in acknowledgement. For Ji Hoo that was almost a warm greeting, Jan Di almost chuckled at the thought.

It was funny, she thought. She knew he was warm, caring and sweet, but most people didn't even imagine it.

"Are you going?" Ji Hoo asked as though they hadn't been interrupted.

"Of course I'm going," Jan Di said with a sigh. "She is my friend."

He nodded. "We'll go together then."

And just like that it was settled. He had not asked, and she knew it.

But come to think of it, she wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

><p>Jan Di was feeling anxious as she walked into the ballroom on Ji Hoo's arm. Ga Eul was walking a couple of steps behind with Woo Bin, who had sportingly agreed to escort her. It was a pity Yi Jung was still in Sweden. It will be a while longer before he came back, but Jan Di knew Ga Eul was already counting the days.<p>

Ji Hoo squeezed Jan Di's hand comfortingly, and they walked into the beautifully decorated room. Jan Di was surprised at the absurd amount of people present. She knew Jae Kyum actually had very few friends, so this must be her parents' doing.

She was unable to ponder on that for long because at that moment Jae Kyum herself rushed toward them.

"Jan Di!" She exclaimed while both girls hugged. "I'm so glad you're here."

Was that relief in her voice? Did she think Jan Di may not show up?

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," Jan Di said, somewhat awkwardly.

Jae Kyum went to hug Ga Eul. Then, she unceremoniously hugged Ji Hoo and Woo Bin as well, paying no attention to their discomfort.

"Ja, Monkey!"

They all turned around to see Goo Joon Pyo walking over. When he recognized the group of people with his wife, he froze on the spot. His eyes met Jan Di's briefly before he regain his composure and kept walking toward them; a cool smile on his lips.

"Ji Hoo," he said with a smile and Ji Hoo nodded. They shook hands and did the funny, awkward, one arm men hug thing.

"Yo, my bro!" Woo Bin joined the hug and then grabbed Joon Pyo on a headlock. All three of them laughed.

Jan Di found herself staring at them with a grin. They sure looked like they missed each other.

Joon Pyo then turned to her. "Geun Jan Di."

"Hello Goo Joon Pyo." She was amazed at how steady her voice had sounded. She was even more amazed at how calm she felt.

"Joon!" Jae Kyum intervened. "Let's cut the cake now." She grabbed his arm and they started walking away. "See you guys later!"

The moment they walked away, Ji Hoo was by Jan Di's side. He passed his arm over her shoulders. She felt so comforted by his gesture that all she wanted was to burrow in his arms and forget about everything around them.

Where had that thought come from? Jan Di asked herself alarmed while she pulled away from him. He tightened his hold on her though and didn't let her get away.

"Are you okay?" he whispered in her ear.

Unable to speak, she nodded.

What was wrong with her?

"Let's get some drinks."

Woo Bin's interruption was God-sent.

Jan Di hurried off with Woo Bin and Ga Eul, while Ji Hoo followed them a couple of steps behind.

Later that night, when Ji Hoo's car stopped in front of Jan Di's house, he finally asked the question that had been on his mind all evening.

"Was it hard?" he asked without turning around to look at her.

"Not as hard as I thought it would be," she answered truthfully and this time he looked at her; his eyes searching hers as if trying to read her mind.

"Thank you." She gave his hand a little squeeze before opening the door.

"I did nothing."

"You've done more than you'll ever know."

And with that she left.

He rested his head on the back of the seat and closed his eyes as the car started to move.

"What are you doing, Ji Hoo?"

Was he really getting signals from Jan Di or was his heart playing tricks on him?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two – "Honja dasi tto missing for you…"**

Jan Di had been taking notes while Ji Hoo's grandfather evaluated the patient.

She didn't realize when she got distracted.

She had looked at the picture of Ji Hoo's family on Grandfather's desk and was now staring at Ji Hoo's mother.

Mother and son had shared the same big, kind eyes, and the angelic smile.

She gazed at Ji Hoo's mother again and saw the ring on her finger.

Ji Hoo had offered that ring to her once. It was right after Joon Pyo and Jae Kyum's wedding.

He had said he didn't know when he had started feeling that way, but he couldn't live without her.

She was unable to say yes to him, even though a part of her wanted to. It would have been so easy to say yes; to let him love her, protect her; make her forget.

But it wouldn't have been fair; not for him anyway. How could she accept him and not love him like he deserved?

She knew she would not have been able to live with herself.

What would be her answer if he asked now?

Wow! Where did that come from? Jan Di asked herself startled.

Why did she keep having these thoughts?

Jan Di looked at the picture again and at the small Ji Hoo sitting on his grandfather's lap. At that time he was loved and protected, surrounded by his loving family. It still broke her heart that he had lost everything in the blink of an eye.

Jan Di looked at the other picture on the desk. She had taken that one herself. It was a picture of Ji Hoo and Grandfather the first time the three of them had gone fishing.

She let out a sigh. She was glad she was able to play a small part in the events that helped him find his family again. A part of her –a very audacious part- even felt like part of that family. She certainly saw him as part of _her_ family. She simply couldn't imagine her life without him.

"Jan Di-ah!"

Grandfather's voice brought her back to the clinic. She must have spaced out because the patient was already gone.

"Where is that mind of yours, girl?" He tried to sound stern, but Jan Di had gotten to know him too well to be fooled. He walked out of the office talking under his breath.

Where had her mind gone to indeed? Jan Di asked herself.

Ji Hoo walked into the room. He had just arrived to pick Grandfather up so they could go home. Lately he was very busy with medical school and working at the Foundation, but he still took time every day to bring Grandfather to the clinic in the mornings and pick him up in the evenings. Jan Di was very glad, because she was able to see him every day, and she always made sure to be at the clinic in the evenings so they could talk for a little while.

Of course, they will see each other even more often when she started medical school next month.

Jan Di had been so excited to be admitted. Ji Hoo had taken her to dinner to celebrate. It had been fun.

"Grandfather's right," Ji Hoo said taking a seat on Grandfather's chair. "Your mind is not here today."

"Were you talking to me just now?" she asked and he nodded. "What did you say?"

"Nothing important." He looked intently at her for a couple of seconds. "Are you thinking about Joon Pyo?"

It took her a moment to understand the question. Her eyes opened wide in surprise when she realized she hadn't thought about Goo Joon Pyo even once since she saw him at the party.

Instead, she had been thinking nonstop about…

She looked into Ji Hoo's eyes. She could see confusion in them and also concern. He probably didn't understand her reaction. She couldn't blame him. She didn't understand what was happening to her either.

He looked like he was about to say something, but he was interrupted by the sound of something hitting the floor in the other room. Jan Di and Ji Hoo looked toward the door and waited a beat for another sound.

Nothing.

"Grandfather?" Ji Hoo called out.

For all answer they heard a grunt, and Ji Hoo and Jan Di were sprinting out the door.

* * *

><p>Jan Di was carrying two cups of coffee when she entered the hospital room the next morning. She had gone home last night, but all she could think about was coming back.<p>

As she had anticipated, Ji Hoo was still here. He was wearing the same clothes, so she knew that he hadn't followed her instructions to go home and get some sleep too. Even as she was telling him to go home she knew he wouldn't.

"Sunbae!"

He looked up at her and her heart hurt seeing how pale and exhausted he looked; scared too.

He made a brave attempt at a smile when she gave him the coffee.

She stood next to him and put her hand on his shoulder while she sipped her own coffee.

"You should go home," she said. He started to say no, but she cut him off. "If not to sleep, at least take a shower, change clothes, eat something… Or are you planning to get sick too?" she asked sternly.

"I'll do all that as soon as he wakes up."

There was no point in arguing, she knew too well that once he made up his mind he wouldn't budge.

Jan Di sat next to him on the couch and readied herself for the wait; regardless of how long it may be. She had no intention of going anywhere either until Grandfather woke up. If nothing else, she would keep Ji Hoo company.

It was early evening already and Ji Hoo was starting to doze off when they heard Grandfather's voice.

"Ji Hoo-ya."

It was barely a whisper, but a second later Ji Hoo was by his side.

"Grandfather, how do you feel?"

"Jan Di-ah?"

"I'm here too, Grandfather," she said standing on the other side of the bed and taking his hand. "You scared us."

"I'm going to get the doctor," said Ji Hoo.

"There's no time," Grandfather stopped him holding his hand out to Ji Hoo. He took it and squeezed it.

Grandfather brought his hands to his chest, still holding Jan Di and Ji Hoo's hands. Jan Di and Ji Hoo looked at their hands held together by Grandfather, and then at each other.

Jan Di was holding her breath. It looked like Ji Hoo was too.

Suddenly, Grandfather's hands went limp and the monitor next to the bed emitted a high-pitched flat line sound.

"Grandfather!"

"Grandfather!"

Hi Joo ran out the room to get the doctor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three – "I need you, amu maldo motae, I want you…"**

Jan Di interlocked her fingers with Ji Hoo's while the casket was being lowered. He turned to her and she could see in his eyes the grateful look that was usually in hers.

It was very little what she could do for him. She desperately wanted to do more.

After the funeral they had gone to the house. Joon Pyo, Jae Kyum, Woo Bin and Ga Eul had come too.

Jan Di had kept an eye on Ji Hoo. He looked calm, but she knew his heart was broken. He had lost his Grandfather for the second time in his life.

Jae Kyum offered to take Jan Di home when they were all leaving. She chose to stay.

She walked back into the house and found Ji Hoo sitting on the couch.

"Do you want me to take you home?" He looked exhausted.

"If you don't mind, I will stay a while longer."

He smiled.

"I'd like that."

"I'll make tea," she said giving him a friendly pad on the hand. She must have done that at least a thousand times before. What was different about this time? At the touch of his warm skin her heart started racing very fast.

Her eyes met his. Hers were wide open in surprise; his were narrowed with confusion.

What was wrong with her?

Jan Di smiled awkwardly and hurried off to make the tea.

She needed to busy herself with something.

She was exhausted too. It had been a couple of very trying days. First, she had seen Goo Joong Pyo for the first time since his wedding. Not only that, she had seen him happy with Jae Kyum. And then, Grandfather's heart attack… His time at the hospital… His death... It all had happened so fast that she had barely been able to process it.

At the time she only knew that she had to be strong for Ji Hoo.

He had been lost and heartbroken. She had been there for him. It was the least she could do after all he had done –and continued doing- for her. She was glad it was all over now.

Her eyes welled up unexpectedly. Tears were rolling down her cheeks before she was able to stop them.

This would not do. She had to get a grip on herself.

She left the tea things on the table and tried unsuccessfully to calm herself. When a sob escaped her lips she bit her fist. But there was no use. She was crying uncontrollably now. Her body was shaking; her face was drenched in tears.

She didn't hear him come in. That was usually the case. Ji Hoo was always so quiet that he could easily sneak up on her. She only realized he was there when she felt his arms around her. Grateful, she held on to him as though her life depended on it and cried until she was out of tears.

He simply held her and stroke her hair until her tears stopped. He never rushed her. He never said a word. He didn't even try to dry her tears like he had done in countless times before.

The last time he had tried to dry her tears was the day before Goo Joon Pyo's wedding. She had brushed him off and told him it was because he kept drying her tears that they kept stupidly falling. He had never offered to dry her tears again. She now knew she had hurt him that day.

When it looked like she was done crying, Ji Hoo took her to the sitting room and went back to the kitchen to get the tea. He poured the tea in beautifully hand-painted porcelain cups and handed one to Jan Di. He then leaned on the couch, stretched his long legs and started sipping his tea in silence.

Jan Di was not sure how much time they had spent like this; sitting together without either saying a word.

That was something she had always loved about her relationship with Ji Hoo; they could sit comfortably together for hours, no words were needed.

She turned to look at Ji Hoo and saw that his eyes were closed. She could tell he was sleeping by the steady rhythm of his breathing. She was sure that was the first time he had slept since Grandfather collapsed at the clinic. It was too much for anyone, especially for a guy who, not so long ago, used to spend most of his time looking for a quiet place to take a nap.

She went to sit next to him and surveyed him for a long time. He had a peaceful expression on his face. A lock of hair was half covering his eyes. Jan Di didn't realize her hand had moved until she saw herself brushing Ji Hoo's hair off his face. He had a beautiful face; a face that was more beautiful than flowers…

Her hand went up again, this time to caress his cheek.

His hand came up too and covered hers at the same time his eyes opened. He looked at her questioningly, and before she could stop herself, she was leaning in to kiss him.

Just before their lips met, when he realized what she was about to do, his breath caught in his throat and he stared at her with eyes wide with shock.

The kiss was hesitant at first. Jan Di was not sure how he would take it. But soon his arms were around her, and, tilting his head, he deepened the kiss.

Jan Di knew he had been waiting for a long time for this, and he probably had already lost faith. She now understood she had been waiting for this too without even knowing.

She interlocked her fingers behind his neck as her body molded to his perfectly. She sighed with happiness.

Before she knew what was happening, he grabbed her arms and pushed her away from him. The next moment, he was standing across the room by the window.

Without his body next to her, Jan Di felt cold and deprived.

"I'm sorry," she muttered.

He turned his back on her and gazed out the window.

"Why you did it?" he asked. "Because you feel sorry for me?"

"Sunbae! How could you say something like that?"

"I've wanted this to happen for a long time." He put his hands in his pockets still looking out the window. "I'm sure you know."

She knew. She had felt guilty many times for being unable to love him the way he wanted… And for not being able to let him go either.

He turned around and faced her.

"I need to now that you _want_ this before we go any further."

She opened her mouth to say she did, but he cut her off.

"Don't answer now. Think about it first."

She sighed and nodded.

"I'll take you home."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four – "Baraedo dasi baraedo..."**

Jan Di hadn't seen Ji Hoo in two days.

She was going crazy.

He had said she needed to think things through; that he wanted her to be sure before things between them went any further.

She already knew she wanted him in her life. She had always known that.

And after the other night all she could think about was kissing him again.

He hadn't said for how long she was supposed to think this through.

She had been ready to go find him the day before, but she didn't want to risk being turn down by him. He would probably think she should have thought about it a while longer.

Well, too bad for him!

Thinking time was over. She refused to spend another day away from him.

She took her time preparing a lunch box. Now that she had made up her mind she needed to stay calm.

She would invite him to a picnic. It would be fun.

And God knew he needed fun in his life. Especially now that Grandfather was gone.

When she got to his house she noticed it was too quiet. The door was locked and Ji Hoo was nowhere to be seen. She tried calling him but the call went straight to voice mail.

Where could he be this Sunday morning? He had no classes, no work…

There was only one place she could think of.

Jan Di ran to the street where she could take a cab.

Jan Di got out of the cab and looked towards the water. And there he was. He was sitting on a folding chair, holding his fishing rod. He was wearing a jacket, rubber boots and a beanie cap.

Jan Di's heart did a somersault. He looked exactly like the last time they had come together. The only thing missing was Grandfather on the next chair.

A lonely tear ran down her cheek at the thought.

Jan Di was sure she hadn't made a sound, but somehow Ji Hoo was able to hear her… Maybe he had sensed her. He stood up and turned around. He looked surprised to see her there.

She smiled and wiped the tear as she walked toward him.

He left the fishing rod by the chair and walked toward her as well.

They stopped when they were right in front of each other.

Under Ji Hoo's intense gaze, Jan Di realized she had been so busy thinking about seeing him again that she hadn't given any thought to what she would actually say to him.

But this was Ji Hoo… They had never needed words…

She took off her backpack and left it beside the lunch box. She then took the couple of steps separating them. He had stayed very still; like a statute. Jan Di already knew he was not going to initiate anything; he would follow her lead. It was up to her now.

For the first time since they've known each other, she put her arms around him. Her arms hugged his waist and her head rested on his chest. She could feel his heart start to beat faster. Hers was beating fast too; she was sure he could feel it.

"You are cold," he said in a husky voice and pulled his jacket to cover them both as he hugged her too.

She had been cold, she realized now. But now she was enveloped by this fragrance-filled warmth that was all Ji Hoo. She cuddled closer to him with a sigh of contentment.

When she looked up into his eyes, she saw a look of absolute happiness that she had never seen in his eyes before. If she hadn't been sure that she loved him by now, that look would have been enough to convince her.

She tilted her head up and he met her lips.

All her anxiety evaporated with the kiss. When they broke apart, they looked at each other and smile.

"Sunbae?"

"Hmmm?"

"Let's have a picnic."

His laugh was like tinkling of chimes; a laugh so nakedly happy that it made her own heart expand with joy. Had she ever heard such a beautiful sound?

She had every intention of making him laugh like that as much as possible from now on.

THE END


End file.
